Random tots

happy birthday mr d

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 07:57:49 GMT

y'day was windsurfer's birthday
i watch him wagging his tail
sharing his cake with the little ones
he is a gem :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR D!

i know what you did...

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 06:53:48 GMT

how do you react when
someone out herself
to you in situation least expected
or when you do not wish to know?
unburdening their secret to you
emotional vomit that
unwittingly bonds you
only it is unknown
to the person seeking relief
from her disclosure
that those bonds are forge
perhaps we are all more similar
then we dare to acknowledge

mr d

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:18:26 GMT

dear mr d
i haven't forgotten my promise to you

thanks for being the sunshine and also my little thunderstorm
my windsurfer with heartbreaking eyes

ugly little things

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 08:07:51 GMT

I wish we could travel back in time to the 3.30 moment
where i felt safe confiding in you
when you held me so tenderly as i am precious
have we lost the ability to communicate with each other?
increasingly i am that unreasonable bitch
your eyes flashing with anger and your fist clenched
my face contorted with a conflict of fury and sadness
if only there would be a time machine
where we can travel back and take away the feeling of
ugly little things building in our heads and contaminating our hearts
when your kisses were like the flutter of the butterfly wings
where every word is poignant with fragance and not rot.
i miss our secret smiles and happy laughter
when your shoulders
were not burden with a thousand worries
and your brow are not knitted in frustration

futility

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:15:43 GMT

a simple gesture
that goes deeper than any word spoken
touching or hurting deeper than imagined
perhaps it is futility
of a lost cause

i begin my reconstruction
smiling brighter
piercing deeper
i love you even
when you are breaking my heart

lost in translation

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 04:51:36 GMT

I read your blog
One week ago
Same circumstances
Different words
Same hurt
I know I said the most terrible thing
My words cutting you down
sharper than any other gesture
I see how disappointed
you are in me-
when do you profess disappointment in a person?
Through action, in thoughts , in words?
You have communicate your
disappointment towards me
and how selfish I am
not just in words but towards your action to me
I wish I could make you see
out of selfishness I would have bolted
long time ago
Just why hang on
feeling hurt and knowing it hurts you too?
being treated to cold shoulder and shrug off
being made to understood you can just cut me out
You answered well- knowing that we both love each
it is with not with selfish intent
but of course it is once again lost in translation
from the hurts i inflict upon you
I am that failure
that has caused you lots of disappointment
Love need not be spoken but through the act of understanding
what a person wants and need
sadly we no longer seem to be able to speak of love
without it being tedious and burden with the weight of disappointment
i hear that your every happiness is marred by me
I am your disappointment
so we dig
further into what really kills each other
your withdrawal
shatters my confidence
reducing me to a needy fuck up person that I hate so much
it is not your problem
i am that fucked up emotional wreck
which even I myself cannot cope
because I am your disappointment
I failed unable to comprehend your silent love and intentions
if by pretending i do not exist and cutting me out is
a form of expressive love and patience
I accept
all i see is me as the failure reflected in your eyes

precious rubbish

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 04:25:34 GMT

just kept feeling tears well in my eyes
but these tears will not fall.

precious rubbish
every lover's tear is precious
every teardrop is rubbish

body language

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 07:37:48 GMT

was having
conversations with artists and their partners
recently.

i observed their interaction with each other
the familarity and intimacy
the playfulness

the things unspoken
the tension and ease of the various relationships

what is our body language?

I read your bloggings
and thought about us
what is our body language to each other?
have we loved each other today?

potential hedonistic pleasure

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 04:01:43 GMT

potential hedonistic pleasure
derive upon the compulsion
to look and look away.
a train wreck
car crash

knowing there is nothing
favourable gain from looking
yet with riveted gaze

that refuses to purge away
a violation to my comfort
intruding upon my psyche

Proverb for thought

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 13:43:16 GMT

" They who give have all things.
They who withhold have nothing." Hindu Proverb

i do not think there is anyone
who gives selflessly anymore
just realise its not how much that is given
but what is given

some poeple only have the ability
to take